My name is Lydia Baker. I don't have much experience with this blogging stuff, so I'll just tell you what's on my mind and hope that it doesn't have to be in any particular format. I guess it's necessary to tell you a little bit about myself before I get into my story. I am 26 years old and I come from a big, close-knit family. There are five generations alive and well on my mother's side of the family and three on my father's side. Next to my Lord and Savior, family is the most important thing to me. I have had an amazing life because of these relationships. And just to add icing to the cake, I just want to let you know that I will be getting married on September 2, 2008!! I have inherited a beautiful little girl (fiance's daughter), and I am so excited to start a new family.

I know it does not seem like it, but I want to talk about how important it is to be triumphant over a situation in which you are the victim.

Some of my problems started about 50 years ago. No, I do not have poor mathematical skills, just keep reading. I remember nights when my father was intoxicated as he wept and told us stories about the death of his mother. In some ways it seems as though he blamed himself. She died after my daddy was born. He was the youngest of three siblings when she died. Shortly after his mother's death his father married another woman, with whom he had three more children. Although his stepmother was a good person overall, she abused my father and his older brother. As he wept and drank Red Rose, he told us stories about how she beat him and his brother in the testicles with extension cords.

The physical abuse probably didn't hold a candle to the mental and emotional abuse. Just to know that a person could treat someone that you love so dearly this way is so hurtful. Long after his stepmother's death, my father was still suffering from the things that she had done. As a result of the pain that my dad felt, he chose to self-medicate. He abused alcohol and became addicted to crack-cocaine. As you can imagine, this caused problems in our family. Instead of my mom and dad's income, we had to live off of my mother's wages. My daddy's whole check would be used to support his addictions. My mother left my dad about 3-5 times in an attempt to get his attention. We would go to shelters and stay until my mother felt like she could no longer keep the family divided. She made such a huge sacrifice to keep us together. She had to endure financial hardship, arguments, and the stress of doing most things alone as my father struggled with this addiction. One day in 1993, she gathered most of the clothes we had and took her five children to the Genesis Home in Durham, North Carolina. This was probably the most depressing year of my life. [I know this is off topic, but this was the year that Toni, Tony, Tone song called "Anniversary" was really popular. I hate it to this day!] Anyway, we stayed there for a year until my mom got a voucher to move to the West End. We lived on that side of town for about 11 years as my mother went from "welfare recipient" to "business woman"!!!! She started a cleaning company called "C.J's Clean-Rite Service." This company was very successful. Later, she opened an antique store that has now been moved to Pinehurst, North Carolina.

Now...undoubtedly, my dad was a victim of child abuse. But because of the way that he dealt with his issues, many other people suffered. So my question is...At what point do we, as victims, become responsible for circumstances after we have suffered huge injustices? Understandably, it is very difficult to fathom how unresolved pain affects us long after it is inflicted. But many people who choose to avoid, or may not even understand how to deal with tragic situations tend to grieve in unhealthy ways. My father went to the doctor a couple of years ago and was told that his liver was bulging out of his ribs. To this day, he continues to drink. God works miracles, no doubt, but it just hurts me to think about my father's disregard for his own health. Nevertheless, I pray for my father every day. I always ask the Lord to restore his body.

So obviously I feel like I have a pretty good idea about the question that I asked earlier. To refresh your memory, I'll ask it again: At what point do we, as victims, become responsible for circumstances after we have suffered huge injustices? In 1 Peter 5:7 it reads: "Cast all your care upon him; for he careth for you." When we neglect to give our problems to God, that's when we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. Matthew 11:30 reads: "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Problems here on Earth were promised, but God gave us clear instructions on how we must deal with them. Through faith, I know that my father is learning to lean on Jesus. It is an everyday process to build our faith. But it is not something that we try to do on our own. Whether we feel like it or not, the fact remains that God cares. There is an old song that says, "Oh what needless pains we bear; all because we do not carry everything to God in prayer". So until next time, pray more and worry less!!