I recently met a great woman. I know how that sounds, so I’ll be clear….Not the GREAT woman that I met 14 years ago that’s become my wife, but a great woman nonetheless. Her name is Lydia Baker and she works for Durham’s Parks and Recreation Department in Gang Outreach and for Reality Ministries at their new Community Center across the street from the Durham School for the Arts.

Lydia is an African American woman who grew up in Durham, has overcome serious financial hardship during her growing up years and knows the “hood” very, very well. She put herself through NCCU and is equally comfortable talking to a “Blood” or a “Crip,” as she is a resident of Forest Hills. She’s confident, intelligent and engaging. If some one person is going to be able to make a real impact on gangs in Durham, it’s her.

Half way through my conversation with her, it occurred to me: “Lydia,” I said, “I think that I might be able to relate to some of these gang members.” She gave me a strange look. “You see,” I said, “I was in a gang myself.” Her look got even more strange. But it was true. I went on to explain that when I was in my late teens and early twenties I had, indeed, been a member of a gang. We had a complex and secretive initiation process, we had each other’s backs, and we got into a fair amount of mischief with activities that were against the law. You could tell a member of our gang from sight alone. No, we didn’t have the handkerchiefs or shoes that set us apart, but sweatshirts with 3 Greek letters across the front…..Alpha, Tau, Omega. Of course, and as you may have surmised by now, we never called it a gang, we called it a fraternity. The laws we broke were underage drinking, sound ordinances, and occasionally a bit of petty larceny (usually other fraternity’s mascots).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning the sometimes very bad crimes that gangs have been known to commit, BUT I think that I understand gangs much better and I can’t help but to think: “There but for the grace of God go I.”

This revelation helped me to understand gangs much, much better. I don’t pretend that the gang members I’d like to meet would welcome me as a kindred member, and I fear that they’ll see me as patronizing. But I really would like to engage and counsel these young men. That is why several area fund managers, David (Bandwidth.com business partner) and I are starting Talent Capital for Durham, a group that supports young entrepreneurs with the capital, training, and network they need to start their businesses…look for more on our official launch soon. You can get involved too. Rather than asking you to go find the gangs, however, I want to encourage you to join Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Triangle so you can point children away from gangs. Together we can turn Durham’s youth from the illegal ventures and violence of gangs to entrepreneurial ventures that will enable them to give back to the city we all live in together.

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